Still Triggering About The Same Old Situation?
We beat ourselves up for ‘still being affected by the same old stuff.’
We think ‘we should have been over it by now!’
We want to heal our deep relational trauma of forty years in two hours.
We want the absolute certainty that we will forever be immune to toxic relationships.
Alas, life has a different plan…
We all get triggered from time to time.
Why?
When we have a wound of some sort, whether emotional or physical, that hasn’t been properly healed it can flare up now and then. It’s easy to understand this with a physical wound, because if you can see it hasn’t healed you’ll likely be extra careful with yourself with an understanding that the healing is still in process. Yet when it’s emotional we expect things to heal faster and get frustrated when they don’t, which only makes the situation worse.
Usually any situation causing us to trigger is a gift for our growth (as much as we don’t want that to be the case - it’s annoying I know!) However, bearing this in mind - the bigger the trigger, the bigger the gift – maybe now you can start to be more excited than frustrated?
With these big triggers they can have many layers of multiple stories. For example - if we have difficulty letting go of an ex-partner – there may be issues that pop up around you questioning your self-worth or personal value, there could also be issues around lack of boundaries, we may have to look into trust issues and/or repetitive patterns based on what has been “familiar” for our soul during its many incarnations or even simply in this current lifetime experience.
What can you do to help yourself?
1. First you need to be gentle with yourself. Be patient and trust the process by looking at the big picture of life and not just the said situation.
Ask yourself: “How can I be more of my most magnificent self and less in this moment.” It’s not about avoiding the situation – more about looking at it from a fresh perspective. After all, our entire life experience is created by our view point – our own perception of reality. It’s really an illusion. We all know many people can interpret the same situation in a trillion different ways!
2. Ok so after that – journal about your frustrations (I recommend throwing this writing away after completion, not keeping to reminisce over your pain on a rainy day). How do you do this? Ask your higher self; “Why am I still being triggered? Please help me to heal this experience for my own peace and to learn from the experience so I can be more of my best self.” When we write like this we get stuff off our chest and we often receive a few aha moments within the process too.
3. Be ready and willing to continue your inner work without frustration. It really is the only answer – and as I hear many moan – the fastest way you can move through is to not moan, complain or get frustrated. Rather, accept it. This is life.
It’s a little like making money is not an overnight success and has it’s pit falls along the way to your greater prosperity.
Everything is a journey. I suggest following the guidance of the Fools Journey in the Major Arcana of the Tarot.
So what would that look like?
Let’s work through the first 1o cards in the traditional Tarot deck to assist with your triggering. Here is a brief outline of what you can consider (feel free to contact me for 1:1 assistance with this journey).
0. The Fool – You must first choose to start the journey. Making a conscious decision to take a new path is the first step in any new creation or journey.
1. The Magician – Get clear on what you want re the said situation. State it and write it down as an ideal situation, in the form of a new belief. Meaning, if this new belief was your truth at a subconscious level, then your TRIGGER WOULD NOT EXIST. (I help people do this in a powerful 8 step process – email me to grab this process)
Examples:
Heart ache
“My heart is open. I’m accepting of those who come and go from my life – I am peaceful and content in my own space, body and heart. The right people will love the real me and I trust the universe has all of this under control.”
If it’s about money….
“I am happy when I have money and when I don’t have money. I love money and money loves me. I’m excited to experience my abundant flow and my life of prosperity as I continue to grow.”
What about your health…
“I love my body in all its forms. I know my body has special messages for me and therefore I am appreciative of the guidance and I listen intently. I choose what is right for me and my body heals as best can be.”
2. High Priestess – Listen for your intuitive guidance
3. The Empress - Get grounded and in touch with mother nature to assist with your healing. This can be with the sea, a forest, or just hugging animals or getting a new pet. OR start a new passion, get a creative project underway to help raise you vibration.
4. The Emperor - Nut out an action plan
Create a timetable for good health, routine for business, and selfcare for your heart.
5. Hierophant - Refine your values
This is a sign to reflect in on where you are at. Have your dreams, wants and values evolved since you last checked in with self? This is also an ideal time to get assistance, for example; visit a naturopath, employ a business coach, see a shadow work healer to help you align more with your true core essence and free yourself from the ego (ego = your human self and this is where the trigger sits).
6. Lovers – Go neutral
Remember nothing has meaning unless we give it meaning. Stop telling stories in your head and to other people (the friends and family you confide in). DO NOT put more energy into the negative. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want!
7. Chariot – keep your eye on the prize
Move forward with conscious action steps toward your new, clearly defined “Magician” desires & new belief.
8. Strength – Build your resilience
Make embracing your personal power a priority. Remember your sovereign self and step into him or her. Action self-love practices to boost your confidence. My friend, remember you are magnificently worthy!
9. Hermit - Follow the light of your heart
Travel the adventures your soul calls out for. If you don’t know what your heart wants, then it’s time to do some soul seeking.
Everyone gets wounded at some point in their lives and subsequently get triggered by it from time to time. The key to dealing with triggers is to deal with the wound that causes it. This is typically not a one-time fix kind of thing. It often takes time to heal and requires “the great work” to process through completely. This means healing at the subconscious level with the ambition to expand into your optimum self.
And remember that even though you can experience significant healing of a triggering event, it may still cross your mind from time to time.
Ideally…
Get ahead of your triggers! - Create healthy triggers in your life by planting them into your mind on purpose.
Highly successful and happy people don’t get that way by luck. It takes conscious creation and focus to bring about positive changes in our lives. With a little patience and creativity we are capable of manifesting great things!
Fiona x
NOTE: Through diligent personal development work, reflections, we often gain the necessary insights. We understand the link between our present days' emotional triggers and painful past experiences. Insights alone, however, do not always bring immediate relief. This is why I use Psych-K and Soulalign Therapy to transcend the trigger at the root cause which can often be inherited trauma, generational wounds and parallel life experiences – which can also be multi-layered, because we are multi-dimensional beings. Contact fiona@soulaligntherapy.com
P.S. If (after all of this) you’re still finding yourself triggering WATCH THIS QUICK VIDEO for another 2-steps toward your freedom!